Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
