Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
