So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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