I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
