Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
