I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
