hotel room ftw
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She announced her abortion via fbk
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
