You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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