They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
