Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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