i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
