Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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