If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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