brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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