My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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