if only i could text you this smell
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
