And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
