did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
