Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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