So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He passed out mid-signature
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
