drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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