I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
