What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
