Define "chronic" masturbator.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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