i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize