I like to think it a success when the cops are called
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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