his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
