Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
