I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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