Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
