so explain again why im purple
no
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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