It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
