I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
