which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize