on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
