I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
