i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize