If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize