And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
