i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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