Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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