is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
