Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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