ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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