shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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