I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize