I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
