im having a threesome with these popsicles
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
