i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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