Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize