420 ftw
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
