Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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