She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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