Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone

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(954): View more from Florida

i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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(407): View more from Florida

I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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(+82): View more from South Korea

I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point

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(805): View more from California

Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n

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