For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
