I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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