it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
