youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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