I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
