KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
