yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
