Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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