508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
