Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
