YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
