Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
