My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize