I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
