i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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