Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
