how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
