You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
