i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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